mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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