Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
