no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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