I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
