that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
