I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize