I queefed so loud it echoed.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
the raccoons are back...
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