Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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