Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
