soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
