are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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