Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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