I think I am morally bankrupt
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
