Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
