just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
