why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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