my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Randomize
