i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
