i don't like sucking hair
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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