He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Sext me about skeletons
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
