do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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