my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
