That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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