In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
