Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Randomize
