apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
