guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
