I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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