we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
