I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Randomize
