Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
