This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize