But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
