I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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