she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
