I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize