i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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