this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
