THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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