oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
