We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
