dude i'm inner monologue high
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
