its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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