I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
