I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
