I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
