Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
