both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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