I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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