she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
