I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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