Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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