my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
