It's Friday. Sex?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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