I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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