i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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