he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
