You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
