My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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