At least make sure they are 18
Why
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
