after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
the raccoons are back...
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