I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
i think my cat just said my name.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
